Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
