It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
