I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
