we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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