one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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