Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You've changed since you got that strap on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
