How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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