just come out here and I will go home with you...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
