I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
