I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
