Already got asked if we're dating
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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