I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
