I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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