oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
