So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
