Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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