I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
