tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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