i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
