i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize