Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
