he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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