Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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