you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
