i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
