Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
