Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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