I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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