i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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