I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize