You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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