Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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