Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
