Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
