Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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