Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
