That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
