Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
