and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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