I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
