Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
