Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
