the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this will be a night to untag.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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