Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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