I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize