my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
