people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
