Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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