True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
