Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
