She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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