'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
