There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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