I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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