what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize