We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
