how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
