There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize